Wonderland
by xXAmari-ChanxX
Summary: This is a gift fic written for me by the wonderfully talented DoujinGirl : Haruka x Zero Oneshot. RATED M FOR A REASON!


FIC NAME: WONDERLAND

AUTHOR: DoujinGirl (WITH HELP FROM xXAmari-ChanxX)

RATE: M

WARNING: MALE/MALE CONTACT, FEMALE/MALE CONTACT MENTIONED, MENTIONS OF TOUCHY SUBJECTS INVOLVING DEATH, ILLNESS AND SEX. SELLING OF THE BODY ALSO INVOLVED. DO NOT LIKE, DO NOT READ. ABUSE ETC. ALSO INVOLVED.

TYPE: ONE-SHOT

COUPLE: HARUKAXZERO HARUKAZERO HARO ETC.

MY GIFT TO AMARI-CHAN. HOPE YOU LIKE IT!

* * *

Leaning naked against the boy's bathroom mirror, Zero barely glanced at his reflection as the man opposing him gently slithered to the floor. Grunting, Zero shoved the other away from him as he sat on the counter next to the sink, and gently pealed his trousers from where they'd been thrown.

'Weakling…' Zero thought to himself, as the boy on the floor moaned, looking completely exhausted and over-run with pleasure. 'I barely had to do anything to him…' Pulling his pants and jeans on, the other remained on the counter.

His 'companion' continued to groan on the floor.

Snorting, and rolling his eyes, Zero remained shirtless, and pressed his back to the cool mirror once again. Liquid ran down his thighs, but it wouldn't show up through his jeans, so he didn't care. He'd hardly gotten any pleasure this time- what was it worth?

May as well have some kinky remembrance of it.

Hoping he would get a better fuck soon, even if the next one didn't pay quite as much as this one had offered, Zero slipped on the rest of his school uniform lazily, listening out for the bell, a no-no sign, which didn't seem to want to come. Reaching into his pocket, he fished out a cigarette, placing it in his mouth and lighting the end.

The continuous moaning eventually got his attention. "Are you done yet?" He asked the boy on the floor irritably, chewing on his cigarette, puffing smoke into the stale air.

Smelt like sex.

Giving him a goofy grin, the boy managed to push himself up. He was in the same year as Zero, or younger. Great. "Yep…" The other hiccupped, as if drunk. "Can barely move…"

This only put Zero off of the other even more. The kid was just lucky he was rich.

A man of little words, Zero just glared at the other. "Got my cash or not?"

The boys eyes lit up. "Oh yeah!" Quickly, the boy began to rummage through his school bag, and Zero was slightly taken back by the huge wad of cash that the other easily drew from his bag, slapping it into Zeros palms above him. "This enough, or do you need more?" The other flushed happily up at him.

Weighing the money in his hand, Zero held the cigarette between his teeth. "How much is it?"

The boy paused. Slowly, the other began moving his fingers as if counting, and muttering under his breath. "Um…" He drawled. "Thirty-thousand yen…"

Zero whistled, even if that was the equivalent to three-thousand dollars/pounds. "Well…" He stated, blandly. "You're not short of cash are you hot stuff?" But Zero didn't expect an answer, and slipped off of the sink instead. It was enough money, for now. So that meant… He winked at the boy. "Call me anytime."

Seeming engrossed in him for awhile, the boy snapped out of his thoughts. "Huh, where're you going?"

Clicking his tongue, Zero waved over his back as he turned away from the other toward the doors. "Bite me. You may want to get out of here before class starts, I'm pretty sure if they find you in here naked they'll ask you questions…" Zero hit him with a hard glare. "You sell me up, I'll kick your ass…"

Before the kid had time to answer, Zero left the bathroom, grabbing his bag from where he'd ditched it next to the door, and quickly exited, shoving the money inside of his pocket. He just hoped the kid wasn't stupid enough to follow him out.

When he didn't, Zero moved on, toward the doors leading out of the school. His next client didn't attend high school, after all. Rido Kuran was Mr. Kuran, the headmaster of his school's brother. He was also one for having sex with pretty much underage teenage boys, and known for giving them a lot of cash too.

'I need the money…' Zero told himself. '_He_ needs the money…'

* * *

I don't remember much in my first year of life. I'm aware that some point during that first year, I came to know three faces very well, and my heart accepted these three people into it. I know I was born within that first year, that I learnt to crawl and that I was able to say some words.

I met my mother in my first year. From the moment I was conceived, I knew who my mother was, and the moment I was born I cried for her. I would always cry for her- it was her job to look out for me.

I met my father too, for when I cried for my mother and she wasn't there for some reason or another, my father would come and look after me instead. It took my about eight months for me to understand my father was like a second mother however. It took me about four months to begin to recognise and trust him. I had just felt him there- always loving something I didn't know.

And, of course, I met Ichiru in my first year. I always knew Ichiru too. It's probably silly to think you'd cry for your sibling, but when you're the eldest twin out of you and him… I needed him. I would feel incomplete without Ichiru there, because my mother let us sleep together.

Of course, I remember this mother and this second mother teaching me to crawl, along with Ichiru, and having conversations with me that they were too lost in love to get I couldn't understand them. I wish I'd though them stupid, talking to me when I couldn't get it, but I bet I didn't.

The one thing I don't remember in my first year of life is Ichiru being ill. I know he was. He's been ill since birth; but I don't recall it.

I just remember Ichiru smiling all the time and that's because in your first year you do nothing but sit there and cry anyway, do very little things, like a sick person. If this were not the case, I would be able to remember Ichiru's sickness so clearly… so clearly…

My second year of life is more defining. I don't care about walking. About grandma and grandpa…

One thing remains close to my head. Haunting me. One thing I can recall from my second year hurts me.

She was there. By our crib. And both Ichiru and I were smiling up at her. I reached out, and wrapped my hand around her little finger, making her smile, a crinkle in her face. She was so beautiful, I can remember it all so clearly now. And then Ichiru tried, but he couldn't hold onto her at all, he just slipped away. She stared for a second, before her eyes welled up with tears, and she instead put her hand down to his cheek, and stared at him. I could not draw either of their intention, so I remember going back to sleep. But, that was when I first realized something was wrong with _my_baby brother.

Third year brings me a harsh memory as well. This time with my father.

Football is a normal game for boys to play; so I did. Ichiru asked if he could play with me, and I said of course. As if I'd leave my brother out of anything. But during our match, we got into a bit of a play fight, and I ended up pinning Ichiru. He was laughing, I was laughing, and neither of us was hurt. But I remember my father rushing out of the house and pulling me off Ichiru by the back of his shirt. I remember at him yelling at me for discarding my brother's health, and blaming me for if he was sick later. I told Ichiru sorry I had forgotten about his cold. Both he and dad smiled. I only then got why.

Nothing much happened after that. More and more events brought me distance and yet closeness. I became distanced from Ichiru. I stopped being his twin. His brother. I began instead becoming a sort of guardian for him. I put up a wall, and yet I got closer to him then I should've done.

But, in all the years they lived on this earth, nothing hurt me more than when my parents began purposely distancing themselves _from_me. I was already aware they paid much more attention to Ichiru than me, and loved him seemingly much more than me. But they did love me.

At least, I wished upon the North Star every night that they did.

When Ichiru began recovering in later years, I thought things would get better. They didn't. Now that Ichiru was better, they saw this as the perfect opportunity to spend time with him- as did I. But that was where the line came in. I was dropped off at grandma and grandpa's, strangers to me, while mother and father took Ichiru to the beach.

I was left at some close friend of mothers while she took Ichiru to the theme park.

I was left with mother because she had work to do, and then dad would take Ichiru somewhere amazing and both would giggle when I asked where, and never tell me.

My parents never took me anywhere. I was never the sick one. I was never the favourite. I was the healthy one. I think my parents saw it that I could walk on my own, talk on my own, and therefore I didn't need them- but Ichiru did.

Makes me wonder, did they discard me as their son?

I was never sick enough for them.

What really made me mad, however, was that doing this, they also took Ichiru away from me. It was fine at the beginning, he'd come home and then we'd play together. Later, it changed, later, he left me all alone.

He came home later. So went to bed. Sometimes, they went out at night, so I would sleep without him there. During the day, I'd have to play by myself. I began seeing Ichiru very little compared to how other siblings see each other. I saw him once a day. We barely talked.

Then they died. Just like that, my parents died. In a car crash. Drunk driver. It was the end.

Ichiru was devastated. We were only thirteen, for God's sake. I'd never seen him cry so much. I didn't cry at all; I couldn't. My parents had detached themselves from me, it was their own fault, it had nothing to do with me. But I could finally be there for Ichiru.

That was how I ended up here. Sure, blame it on a bad life. I don't.

See, Ichiru got bad again. Really bad. We needed a lot of money in order to help him, something we hardly had. The only way we were getting along was because both me and Ichiru worked and the government handed us grants. With Ichiru out of the picture, and our eighteenth birthdays looming only a few years away, we had nothing.

So then I found a solution. Selling myself was easy. My body didn't disagree, and I got a lot of money. Anything, anythingto go with helping Ichiru survive. Anything.

And that was how I ended up in this position.

* * *

Rolling over in the bed, Zero allowed a sigh to escape from his lips. It was over, it was all over, and he'd never been more glad of it. Of course, it was cold to have removed his body from atop of Rido, but the other seemed too out of it to care. Exhausted, for the first time in forever, Zero shifted against the covers, trying to get some warmth, but had a tang of pain in his ass, so could barely manage to move. Seemed it had been awhile since he had been taken with such brute force before…

While just resting for awhile- terribly afraid he might end up falling asleep, Zero heard a rustle next to him, and was glad to have a sort of distraction. Within this position, with a much older man, Zero found himself very much doubting his usual cockiness.

Glancing over, he saw Rido was leaning up on one arm. The others dark brown gaze scanned across his body, causing Zero to flush. It was, for once, not a look of lust. But rather, one of fondness.

Of what, Zero was not sure.

Joining Rido in sitting up, he took in the other mans gaze. Absently, he asked a gentle, "What?" And was shocked when this time he caused a blush to come onto the other mans face.

"You…" He started, resting his words. "Are just like my sister…"

Intrigued, after all, bonding with patients was always the best way to keep them, Zero gently crawled closer to the warm body, and cocked his head. "I didn't know you had a sister…" He said, softly, and gently put her hand on his shoulder. Rido didn't flinch. "I bet she's really beautiful, huh?"

Gently, the other glanced at Zero. "Was… when she was your age…"

Resting his other hand lower down Rido's arm, delicate fingers slicking against sweat, Zero mildly asked, "Was she sick…?" It hurt him to utter those words, and it seemed that Rido noticed that within Zero's eyes.

Carefully, the other asked, "Do you have a sister?"

Shaking his head, Zero instead said, "No… A younger twin brother… who is very sick…" The relation between patients was very valuable to Zero's heart. If he got close with them, it became less like a job, and more like teenage fun- and then, he also felt like he had someone to comfort him throughout the mess. Not to mention, it was vital to Ichiru's health.

Vital. The other could die. Maybe today. Maybe tomorrow… _Oh God._

Smiling, a sly grin came onto Rido's face. "So, that's why you're a whore…" He chuckled. "Normally, I'd treat anyone but my sister with no remorse but… a whore who is a whore for the sake of someone they love… a sibling they care about…" Rido sighed. "I loved her more than anything in the world, and seeing her ruin herself for nothing, unlike you, killed me. That's why I normally hate whores…"

Removing his hands, Zero awkwardly reached down to his jeans. "Funny…" He said, dryly, the tension and fear settling. "I don't seem like the type of person you'd like then…"

Rido had been blunt to the point of actually damaging Zero's pride- he didn't like that.

A hollow laugh filled the room gently, and the two men continued to sit up. "Well…" Rido glanced toward Zero, who had fished out his cigarette packet, and offered it to Rido. "Thanks…" A shrug was his response. "You're no whore; you're just a desperate brother, like I was. I can't hate you…"

Zero glanced at Rido. "You're not supposed to like me…"

"Don't have a choice, kid, you're a good fuck for a good cause…" Rido sighed, putting the cigarette between his lips. "You got a lighter?" He murmured to Zero, and the other nodded, placing it in Rido's hands.

Zero watched the other with morbid fascination. Rido was handsome. Very handsome. Too bad Zero didn't feel anything for the other, but he did like Rido's eyes- he had always been attracted to unusual things.

Putting his hands in his lap, Zero whistled. "So… to Hell with your parents then, huh?"

At this, Rido laughed, and almost sucked his little-piece-of-heaven down his throat, but luckily coughed up some smoke instead. The other continued to chuckle long after. "Died. I hated the bastards!"

Looking down, Zero murmured, "Me too…"

Smirking, Rido asked, "You hated my parents? Not sure you would have met them little buddy…" Receiving a glare in return. He chuckled. "Guess we're more alike then I once thought…"

Shivering at Rido's words, Zero took back his lighter and lit his own cigarette gently. "Any other family?" He murmured, puffing out silver into the dark hair, and Rido glanced sideways at him before looking toward the window.

Shrugging carelessly, Rido said, "Got a brother, I live here with him… except he has a future, unlike me…"

Making a noise, Zero ended the conversation, about to get up and get changed when Rido grabbed onto his arm tightly, pulling him back inside of the bed. When Zero gave him a plain look, Rido just grabbed a box of tissues and handed them over to Zero, who took them gratefully, and then jabbed a hand toward the bathroom.

"Clean up," He told the other. "Then I'll give you your money, it'll be on the table here if I've already fallen asleep…"

Nodding, Zero easily dashed toward the bathroom, grabbing his clothes on the way there.

Rido was nice- but maybe _too_ nice.

* * *

My family's pretty fucked up. I'm not going to lie to you, I don't lie. Maybe because I'm sad, and believe in heaven and all that. Karma. Hell for bad people and something else for the better ones. Or purgatory, whichever one I end up to, I hope God will choose me over the Devil, despite how tainted I have become by the latter.

My life was perfect. I suppose you could say I was always the better of my brother and my sister. I always worked the hardest at projects, deep into the night, while they would go to sleep. I would always push that little bit more; get good grades. I never had fun. Just work, work, work, work, work. My parents nagged me on. Work, work, work.

I never got fed up at working… but at least I got something good out of it.

Graduated school with the best grades I could get. Managed to get into a fantastic college and university, and then moved on to getting a job as a teacher- which, surprisingly, I was okay with. I got good money- and then I made my way up a couple of levels to a Head teacher.

Had my parents of been there, they'd of been proud. Unlikely, or as the kids say it, yeah right!

I'm thirty-two now. Thirty-two, how scary. How scary that its been fourteen years since I was eighteen, and suffered the most terrible thing of my life.

Fourteen years since she was seventeen.

Fourteen years since she ruined everything.

She? Who is she? She is my sister, Juri Kuran. Who else? What other female could I possibly hold dear to my heart? My mother? Impossible, I've never seen such a face before, so unlike dear Juri's was.

I loved my sister so much it could be considered illegal. Incestuous, perhaps. Not that I ever did anything with Juri, nor would want to. I loved her, but not in that way. Especially once I found out- the idea of being in bed with her was icky before, but it just came to disgust me after her deep, dark secret came pouring out.

Know what? I don't think I've ever seen Rido so mad or hurt before. I'd certainly not seen my normally deceptive, mocking and perverted brother cry before- normally he was too busy teaching me how to do things to boys or myself he really shouldn't be teaching me, so crying was a new stage.

Of course, I was 'decked' in the face for finding him crying- even if we did share the same room and I had all right to be there.

My relationship with my siblings before 'it' happened was… _normal?_

Juri was my little sister. She looked up to me, and I cared for her. It was the way of the world; big brother. O'nii-sama. It was the same relationship between her and Rido, I presume. Never had I seen my brother so tender with a female before.

I can still remember, even the sweet smell of those beautiful flowers wafts through my nose from time to time, the day Juri really, really thought she wasAlice, and thought she really, really had fallen down a rabbit hole. I recall how much I had laughed at her, and told her it was a silly idea, but she really believe it was so.

With flowers from 'Wonderland' tucked in her breast, she took my hand, only five at the time, and lead me to a rather large rabbit hole, proclaiming she would push me down it if I didn't believe her. Though not wanting to break my sisters dreams, I went down the hole on my own, and found nothing but dirt.

Still, I clambered up, my suit ruined (an opening for my mother) but a grin on my face. I whispered to her my excitement about seeing a large white rabbit, and her little eyes twinkled and a blush came onto her face.

I lied, of course. Spouted nearly everything from the book, but she sat and listened with wonder.

Later, when I kissed her goodnight, I peeled back her red hair, and found a small bump above her ear from where she'd hit her head, and obviously fallen asleep. Despite being worried, I knew she would be okay, so let her sleep, but did tell my mother about it. Since Juri was her special little girl, my mother promised me she would keep an eye on it.

When we grew up, however, and I was sixteen, she came to me in the same garden. She told me she had visited the rabbit hole, but the magic was gone, and pulled me in for a hug. She then giggled, and thanked me for my kindness, before rushing off, calling back to me she would build her own Wonderland some day.

I can't believe I believed her.

But, when she was fifteen, she was my naïve and innocent darling. A year later, that would change, but for then she was my everything… My little sister, wasn't that enough?

Rido back then was another story. I never believed he was capable of becoming what he is now.

To put it lightly, Rido despised me.

My fondest memory from before the incident is simple. The first time he taught me how to masturbate.

It was… a complicated relationship. Despite being my big brother, he didn't look out for me at all. He left me to look out for myself, and made things harder. However, when it came to embarrassing me in our room late at night, he was right there to jump at the cause. My love for Rido was dim back then.

It dimmed greater perhaps when my brother taught me these things _and_used himself with me as an example, but I can proudly say no man has been in my ass. Just part of his fingers, when he dared show me how to do it.

The change is what fucked up my family. I lived a normal life. Protecting my sister, and getting a hard time as well as sex advice off of my brother. But that change, that one change when Juri came into our room… God, it was like a bomb.

She opened the door, and closed it behind her. She rested against it.

We'd all known she had changed. She was slim, tired looking, and suddenly could afford a lot. She claimed she had a job. Rido had always told me he thought she was a slut, and I thought he meant it too, until I saw his reaction. I just thought Juri had a boyfriend, perhaps abusive, she wasn't telling us about- that was more like our Juri.

If only. The phrase _"I've always wanted more money, Haruka, so I can build me my Wonderland home"_haunted the back of my head. Because it spat everything Rido joked about.

Looking at us, I had just watched the slim figure of my sister at the door while Rido greeted her with a smile. She stared, and stared, and stared. And then she opened her mouth, looking at me with a look. I hadn't greeted her, unlike usual, because my stomach had fallen so much to my feet I could not. I knew something was wrong.

_"I'm pregnant."_

What the Hell kind of brother takes this lightly anyway?

While I'd taken anger out of her, yelling, screaming, making her cry, we'd somehow ended out of the room and Rido had locked the door. As I kicked and hollered, trying to make my nineteen-year-old jackass brother open the door, Juri told me everything with her head held high.

She was a whore. Proud of it too- paid good.

I had only managed to hiss that no single mother could ever be proud about bringing a child into the world that would _never_know its father. Ever. I told her how ashamed I was of her, of what she had done. And I told her, for the baby's sake, to get rid of it, because it did not deserve the life she was going to offer it.

Snorting was not in Juri's nature, but she did it anyway. And then went as far as to insult me and say I never knew who my father was as well- bringing back the old rumour my father didn't believe I was his. That hit a spot, and I told her to go to Hell.

She left and went to mum and dad instead.

That's when I'd managed to get back in and get decked.

While Rido became soft, nicer to me and stuff, I became different too. Rido became tender to me instead of Juri, and began giving her a hard time, since she had become a bitch. I became silent, alone. I didn't talk to anyone.

When beautiful, beautiful Kaname was born, a spitting image of myself, all of that changed. Juri stepped up and took responsibility.

She was a great mother. Kaname really couldn't have had better, in my opinion, even if I had to look after him a great deal myself, since I had forbidden my parents kicking Juri out, even Rido too had told them that was unacceptable. Despite Kaname damaging their reputation, they were rather good grandparents to him, but I'm glad they died soon afterwards, or they would have seen their good old daughter turn again.

Abusive men were never something I was interested in- but Juri fell for the bad boys. She took little Kaname, only one at the time, and moved in with some guy. I didn't know his name, I still don't, and I'd rather forget the few times I ever saw his face.

I left Juri to it. It was an easy thing to do, after the first time she had left to find this Wonderland, how many times did she have to make me feel like it was my fault anyway?

Sickness returns to me when Rido stormed back into our lonely home that night, drenched through, his brown eyes flickering with anger and without forgiveness, little three year old Kaname clutching onto his legs, sheltered from the rain by my brothers black leather jacket, tears in his eyes, cold and shivering.

Rido also had something bloody bundled in his arms, but I couldn't see. He had gone to visit Juri, and come back so soon…

Silently, as usual for my life now, I moved forward. Immediately, my eyes moved to my little Kaname, and I scooped him up into my arms, holding him against me. At the age of twenty-two, I was an adult now, and quickly took the wet jacket off him, knowing just what to do.

I was about to just grab Kaname a towel and sit him in a warm chair when I noticed something. Bruises on his chin. Scared eyes, hands clutching to my top. The bastard!

Unable to look at my nephew that cold night, I listened instead to Rido slamming the door, and glanced at my brother softly. I wanted to know what was in his arms. _"What's that?"_I had asked, so carelessly, only to have my brother whirl around with tears pricking at his eyes, shoving it into me as he stole Kaname from me at the same time, taking our nephew out of the room, refusing to look at me again.

_"His kid…"_He'd hissed. _"I think its dead."_He'd added, just as a shrill cry hit the air.

She was not.

The little babe was much like her brother, except with light brown features unlike red Juuri, brown me, or my purple haired and multi-eyed brother. Must've gotten it from her father- I had decided. Despite the little one being the man who had beaten my nephew, and by the locks of Yuuki's bruised body when Rido had given her to me, punched Juri in the stomach, you couldn't choose your father. We took her in.

It was a good thing Juri came crawling back to us a couple of days later, a mess, asking for her little boy and her premature little girl. Reluctantly, we could do neither of her wishes, and only called an ambulance, for her and the suffering little girl. Kaname stayed with us. The bastard was arrested.

Luckily, my sister found a good man after that. A doctor. The one, who possibly saved her and Yuuki, as I had fondly named her for how brave she was, lives. At once, he took a liking to the baby girl, who wouldn't? And to my nephew.

I could thank God for that. Thank fucking God some luck had come across my sister, and her children. Even Rido thanked God for that.

I thank God still now she's married with her two children and living happily. I thank God she's back to normal Juri. I thank God she's found her Wonderland.

But I will still remember the night she left, with her bags and Yuuki and Kaname, and waved us goodbye. I will still remember how Rido embraced me, and held my tight, and then hissed into my ear about how much of a stupid little brother I was. How it was my entire fault. I should have never put Wonderland into Juri's mind.

I thought, for one dreadful moment, like Juri, Rido had returned to normal. But, as soon as one of my tears hit his thumb, he apologized.

Although my brother has gained back some traits, I know, finally, I have also found a way into his heart. Perhaps he shows it to no one else but me.

One thing is bitterly clear, however. Despite everything we had to go through, neither of us has found our Wonderland…

* * *

Exiting the bathroom, now within the lightness of the dawn, Zero's lithe figure emerged slightly hugging himself. It was an unconscious reaction the young youth did not known he did, just like Zero did not know he was at the common breaking age of the involvement he had slipped into. A shadow, from Zero, crept over the walls, and Zero's back tingled from it.

Slowly, and quietly, Zero began to move, for the deep breaths in the room told him his sex friend for the night was fast asleep, a possibly good thing in Zero's opinion. Saying goodbye had always been what Zero liked least- it was so awkward.

Strangely enough, Rido looked pretty harmless in bed- well, when he was sleeping at least. Tiptoeing around the other one, Zero gently reached forward and took some cash the other had obviously left out for him.

'Bless,' Thought Zero, with a slight smirk. 'He had to leave it so obvious, didn't he?' Zero wasn't stupid, Rido really didn't have to do that.

Zero was almost amazed by the amount of money he go, more than triple from the rich snot in the bathroom. Then again, judging by the practical castle the other was lucky enough (enter a snort here) to stand within, the Kuran was not short of money at all. So, Zero just pocketed it, and gave a plain wave to Rido.

It was no surprise when the other didn't wave back.

With a hundred and thirty thousand yen just from today's activities, Zero found he would be able to pay for more of Ichiru's medicine quite easily, and the corner of his lips turned up. Just like his arms around his shoulders, Zero did not notice this.

Creeping over to the door, Zero prayed the old house didn't have anything in it that creaked; waking Rido was what he needed the least. Making Rido unhappy would damage his income, and Ichiru couldn't afford that, not at the moment at least. It took him awhile, in fear of this thought, to make it to the huge heavy oak door, and Zero reached out.

_Had it creaked when they'd come in here?_Shit. Zero couldn't remember. He'd been pretty preoccupied at that moment in time.

Risking a glance at Rido, who was by now snoring loud enough to wake the dead, Zero watched the other. Well, if he could snore that loud and remain asleep, what would pulling open a little… okay, big door do? Resting his mind, Zero twisted the handle, and gave a hard tug, managing to bring the door easily to him. The other released breath he hadn't realized he had been holding when the every day utensil was silent, and therefore easily slipped out into a brightly lit hallway.

Blinking, Zero raised a hand to adjust himself to the light, before he felt something. Eyes on him. Whirling around, Zero spotted a figured, and his heart jumped into his mouth.

Rido? What the-

No. Not Rido. This one looked younger. Shorter hair. Two brown eyes. This was not Rido, but the man could sure as Hell glare like one.

Calmly, the other man boomed, "Who are you?"

Instead of answering, Zero just stood and stared at the man, who continued to glare at him. Surprise, nor shock, was written on Zero's face, the other was just levelling out his gaze. Older, yes, stronger, yes. Faster? Unlikely. Beside, when the man realized Zero had been a one night stand for Rido, what would he do? Call the police for that? Well damn, if he did, Zero had a lot of evidence in his pocket…

Seeing as the youngster in front of him wasn't going to answer the first question, he asked another instead. "Are you a thief?"

This made Zero snigger. "Of course I'm not a thief, I have better things to do with my time then sneak into some house, how does that prosper my position in any way?" The other hinted, remaining perfectly still, and even crossing his arms to left off a 'don't fuck with me' aura, threatening but not to a high enough level to get himself in trouble.

Relaxing before his eyes, the other man chuckled, but it was more one of pity. "So, you're a whore then…" Hatred nibbled at the other ones words. "Despite Juri having been one, and hating it, Rido sure as Hell likes to fuck a lot of you…" The man seemed to say mainly to himself.

Curiousity killed the cat.

Immediately, Zero's ears picked up at the name. "Juri?" He repeated, just a little louder, catching the angry mans attention. But instead of some sort of disgust in the man eyes, though it lingered there, wonder flashed through. "Is that Rido's sister's name?" Zero asked, before adding. "Are you his brother?"

Haruka's eyebrow twitched and he closed in the space between him and the boy, heels clicking loudly despite walking on the deep red rug that dressed the old, Victorian hallway. "I am Haruka, Rido's brother…" His hands look like they wanted to grab Zero, but were easily resisting it. "And what the Hell do you know about my sister?"

Zero flinched at the tone. He flinched at the broken shards of Haruka that sliced his own body in the brunet's voice. "Not much…" He spoke, and wondered why his voice was trembling. "H-Honestly…"

"What do you know though?" Haruka growled again, and Zero winced. The man smelt like alchohol. Not a lot of it, but Zero hated it. He liked fags. But drugs and alcohol just weren't Zero's thing, he didn't like them.

Biting his lip, Zero wasn't sure what to say. "Rido was pretty blunt with me," He added first, quickly. "But I know he said she was a whore or something…" Haruka tensed dramatically. "And that he meant a lot to him…"

Leaning down, Haruka carefully spat, much like a teacher, in Zero's face a, "You don't know anything at all, got that kid?"

Frankly, Zero wasn't very impressed by this. "I know that…" He sighed. "I'm not stupid, I just wanted to know her name. He never finished his story, I was curious, that was all…"

Sighing, Haruka pinched his nose. "She has a husband now, two kids, everything's sorted out…" Brown eyes bore into the silver haired boy in front of him. "It's a bad past…"

Confronted lilac eyes studied the man in front of him. Full lips pouted almost, and trembled. "Past…" Zero repeated in a whisper, but this time barely loud enough for Zero to hear at all. "In that case, I can't wait to be your age, so that my brother's problems can all be a 'bad past' as well…"

This caused the brunet the arch a slim eyebrow, but before he could say anything Zero pressed on.

"What did your sister sell herself for?" He asked. He watched Haruka stiffen, but gave the man what he hoped was a comforting look. Being in the hospital and holding your brothers cold, dying hand while he told you his fears through blue, dry lips had made him quite good at doing that. "I just want to know, that's all…"

Zero would have sworn down dead he saw tears forming in the grown mans eyes, but the other had quickly looked down before Zero could be sure. He would not hurt the other by ever saying it out loud, but he could think what he wanted. Zero swear the other had muttered 'Wonderland' before Haruka looked back at him. "Just for money, she wanted to build herself a future."

Smirking, Zero said, "I see. That's what Rido meant by we're alike and different, she was thinking of the future, like I am…" His face fell. "But trying to build her own one, not secure someone else's…"

Silence followed his words.

Changing his stance, Haruka regained Zero's wavering attention. "Are you okay?" He asked the other, nodding toward Rido's room.

Getting the hint, Zero nodded. "I'm not new at this, you know. Your brother may be rough, but he's no first time…" Blunt to the point of actually making Haruka flinch, Zero quickly recovered his steps. "But I've bothered you enough," He said with a smile. "I'm sorry; I really should get going…" He bowed, before turning to go the way he was sure he'd come in, when he was grabbed in the same place Rido had.

This time, he turned to meet the haunted eyes of this grown man, Haruka.

Pale and shaking, the man swallowed, and then gently asked, "What do you sell yourself for…"

Now Zero could see why Haruka had stiffened. That question stung him… and Zero had always been accustomed to harsh names. He breathed in, and then out. "Medicine…" He whispered, and saw fear cross Haruka's face. Ah, the other thought he meant drugs. "To save my brothers life…" He added in a gravely voice afterwards.

The grip dispersed.

"I'm sorry but I really need to leave now…"

And then the grip tightened again, and this time on both shoulders.

Stronger than him, and having him in a secure grip, Haruka gently pressed himself against the whores turned back, not wanting to let him go. Impossible, right? _Impossible._How could some boy like this, some little boy, make him see things like this? Make Juri look worse than she had before, more selfish then she had before.

How could someone the age of his students knock everything into place suddenly, leaving him winded, and making Haruka feel the pity he had been to cold and frozen to feel for his own sister?

The Hell kind of witchcraft was this?

Finally finding his voice, Haruka let a slightly drunken, "Don't leave…" Fall from his lips.

Attempting to shrug the other off of him, Zero gave up after a couple of attempts, and sighed instead. "I can't stay. I need to get home and put the money into my account, then use it to pay for Ichiru's surgery, what do I benefit staying here?"

Stiffening, Haruka's voice caught in his throat. Could he… really give his first time to a little kid like this? A whore? Could he even bring himself to sleep with one without picturing _her_face. But… But Zero couldn't go. Zero couldn't go. Haruka didn't want him to.

Whether it was the alcohol taking or not, Zero was hot. And he was turned on.

But he was a head teacher. He wasn't supposed to do this. He was supposed to look after kids, not fuck them. Not pay them to sleep with him. As a head teacher his job was to have these poor students come to him shaking and crying, and he was supposed to help them… or have the nurse hand out free condoms or whatever. Not this.

Cross Academy needed him to be perfect. That was what Kaien had told him on his death bed.

And yet, what was preventing that.

"How much money do I have to give you to convince you to stay the night with me?" He blurted out into the, by now, stale air. He held Zero tight, stopping the other from looking around at him. Turning to face him. He didn't think he could handle it if the other did so. He just pressed the other closer to him.

Remaining still and quite, Zero eventually croaked. "What?" He didn't understand. "But-"

"How much?" Haruka repeated firmly.

A pause lingered. "Well…" He took a breath. "Seventy-thousand more yen and I'll be able to pay for Ichiru's operation."

Haruka barely let Zero get all of the words out of his mouth before he quickly spun the young boy around, grabbing his shoulders painfully tight at the front this time, holding him still. "Done," He dropped into the air, before the tiny shout of pain from Zero as he clutched him over-threw him, and Haruka pressed his lips to Zero's in a hurry.

The taste of cinnamon toothpaste greeted him, and Haruka smirked.

So, Zero had brushed his teeth after the fuck, huh?

* * *

Not quite recalling when he'd gotten the boy into the room, the thought bugged Haruka when he realized he was pressing the squirming thing into his mattress, but he soon discarded it when Zero made another noise that caused his cock to jump in his pants. It was painful hearing this, when almost a thousand others had heard it before he had.

Why did this matter to him? Why did it bother him so much someone had touched Zero before he had? 'Damn it, Haruka, you're losing it!'

He felt hot, and trapped within his clothes, but his desire to see Zero naked before him was enough to crush his discomfort. The other was squirming so much underneath him Haruka couldn't help but find himself doubting the other was as pro as this as he seemed to make out to be, but wondered if that was part of Zero's pain.

Haruka had never bothered much to learn a lot about whores. He wouldn't know.

A gasp greeted his ears when he began to kiss at Zero's neck. "H-Haruka!" It sent shivers down his spine. Carefully, even within the dark of the bedroom, having just come in and left the door half open after all, the brunet found the hickeys his brother had left behind, and began sucking on them.

The noises he drew drove him wild. Oh God. In order to reclaim them as his own, Haruka bit down hard enough for the coppery taste of blood to splash into his mouth, making him wince slightly, but when Zero arched up against him it won him over.

Yes. This was a whores plan, obviously. Perhaps whores could smell virgins. Oh well, it was exactly what Haruka needed and, of course, wanted.

The burning want to pleasure Zero to the compare even the whore was amazed was burning next to his thighs as well as something else.

Sitting up, straddling the other, Haruka carefully wiped his mouth of any blood that had escaped, while pale, almost shaking hands went up to the slender white column, holding them, as the whore looked at him with some kind of surprise.

"What is your name?" Haruka whispered the taste of Zero's blood on his tongue.

Still looking at him with that same shock, Zero uttered his name numbly. Haruka smirked at the look in the boy's eye, and couldn't help but wonder what things he was doing to surprise the slut so much.

Oh. That was right. They were to pleasure others, not be pleasured themselves.

Leaning down, Haruka began to lick at Zero's ear, listening to all of the taunting squeals that Zero carefully released on purpose to get an overall desired affect from Haruka. It was working, the other was starting to get into this, and forget things he'd really like to forget.

Slipping his canines into an earring, and giving it a gentle tug, Haruka's hands easily popped off buttons on a very fashionable shirt, pulling it off of the boys shoulders and away from the bed, tossing them to the floor.

Oh well. His 'guest' could get them in the morning.

Pulling away from the earrings he had found, his tongue stringing from where it had caught on a sharp hook, Haruka placed his hand down against the oddly moving chest, the teens breathing uneven. The hand left two fingers either side of a nipple, which Haruka gently fondled with while taking in the rest of his body.

Pale, almost grey skin. Lone arms. Long chest. But, Zero had a rather thin waist, and some muscle, a displaying ribcage. Obviously, Zero had been telling the truth, no whore who just wanted money would look as skinny as this, he wondered how Zero even got by when he spent it all on his precious Ichiru of his.

Ow! Something burned his heart. Was… that jealousy?

Shaking the thought from his head, another conjured up instead. _Was Kaname's father this age when he did this to Juri?_

Again, Haruka visibly shook his head and tensed.

A rustling sounded from below him, now that Haruka's mind was seemingly thoughtless, he was clenching his eyes and jaw so much all he could hear was the ocean booming through his ears, and that innocently rustling. It was slow, and stopped after awhile. Zero's breathing came to after awhile. Then, a slight brush against his face made him open his eyes.

Flicking his eyes open, Haruka stared down at Zero.

The other froze his hand midway to caressing Haruka's face in an attempt to comfort him. This time, shock actually allowed itself to rest on Zero's face, almost being smug to the others hardened exterior. Haruka froze too.

Then he stopped wasting time, and pressed Zero's extended hand to his lips, kissing it, before pushing it away and pushing Zero back down, both hands pressing against his upper arms, holding him down, as Haruka gave one hard lick downwards from Zero's collarbone to a bud.

As he took it in his mouth, he use one hand to fondle the other, while his spare hand rose to the teens mouth, who was making short, pleasurable noises. Slipping the tips of his fingers in, a damp tongue touched the tips, licking the salt from the pads of his fingers, his identity, and then creeping along his nails. Easily, Haruka pushed the rest of his fingers in, allowing Zero to suck on them.

Oddly, Haruka found it almost impossible to conjour up any bad thoughts about Zero. He couldn't snort. He couldn't snigger. He couldn't roll his eyes or think 'stupid whore' about the other. To the front of Haruka's mind, everything was numb. To the back, the other was locked in a deep fascination of the other, and was licking his lips as the idea of claiming the other as his, even for a split second.

This seemed to accelerate his motives.

Sitting back up on the young teen's hip, Haruka withdrew his hand from the wet cavern it was currently in, and prepared to put it in a much warmer on immediately. He was sure Zero would be loose from his fuck with Rido, but just wanted to make sure…

Edging down Zero's jeans and pants, he let them fall to beyond the young ones knees.

"This may hurt…" He carefully warned the slut, before pushing his fingers in, wincing when he felt how tight the inside was. God, he was going to kill Rido for this later. He might have to, in order to get another dick.

Haruka really couldn't picture easily getting in and out of that.

But he was happily picturing doing so- good thing he'd decided to stretch.

He wasn't sure Zero agreed with him much at the moment though (however he wanted to bet the other would do later if he had gone without) for he was staying deathly still and tense, provoking Haruka. "Ow…" The other finally got out. "Fuck that hurts…"

Not knowing of any other distraction, Haruka began to kiss those soft petal lips he had admired before. "Relax then…" He wanted between one kiss, and felt Zero's hand move along his side to cup behind his neck, bringing them closer together, but also allowing Zero to lean against him and follow Haruka's orders.

God. Zero was a good slut.

Removing his hand when Zero stopped making much noise at all other then humming along with a small rhythm Haruka had started up, the other sat back off of Zero's body, and instead pulled the others now naked legs up over his shoulders while pulling down the zip on his pants, finally releasing something that had been bugging him for awhile.

When Zero reached forward, he quickly snapped, "Don't!" And then felt bad when Zero quickly flinched back. "I don't want to be pleasured, I just want to pleasure you…" He mumbled, and then quickly pushed himself in.

Faster then when he had flinched from Haruka's harsh words, Zero jolted back and let out a sharp, and loud cry of pain, causing Haruka to stop when he was hilt deep inside of Zero, and the other made a hissing noise. Guilt flooded the elder man as he thought of his nephew and niece, his sister, and his students, and carefully leaned over to press his lips against Zero's distracting him as his tongue danced along the others dry lips playfully.

As his tongue prodded for entrance, Zero shifted his hips to adjust against Haruka in a better position, and then moaned. Letting the other in, he quickly tasted his tongue, before retreating and allowing Haruka to mould his teeth while he licked the underneath of the muscle in his mouth.

Continuing the kiss, Haruka waited for until Zero had stopped adjusting to him, and then pulled away, a string of salvia falling down from his lips. Licking it away, Haruka watched as the teenager below him slowly blushed. "Ready?" He whispered, trying to hide his smirk.

Lilac eyes, for once, seemed to take him in, unlike Zero had been doing for the rest of the time. More open. More… more… Haruka didn't know a word for it, which was rare, but it seemed as if Zero was seeing him in a new light to before. Just another client, perhaps, had become no ordinary client.

But, if Zero caved in now, pain would only follow.

He turned away, on wanting to look at Haruka, allowing led to sit and feed in his stomach. "Whatever…" He mumbled, and although the change in tone took Haruka slightly from his blind side, for the other wasn't suspecting that, it still didn't stop the other from moving.

And then an idea popped into Haruka's head evilly.

Hitching Zero's hips against his, and in turn Zero's breath, Haruka's playful fingers sought more. They desired something different to sweat against them, and his palm wanted something a little stickier to end up in it. Not to mention, from the looks of it, it had been awhile since Zero had had an erection, the other looked like he could cum soon.

A strangled cry reached his ears. "W-What are you doing?"

Smirking, Haruka continued to gently rub his palm against Zero's dick, his fingers working up and down, while his thumb was covering the slit, stopping the little beauty from coming just quiet yet. "I'm pleasuring you…" He told Zero. "I already said that was what I wanted to do…"

Zero took in the other. "You're a strange bastard, you know that?" He grunted in a mixture of pleasure and pain, gasping. When Haruka saw Zero's pink tongue, he couldn't help but put his other thumb to it, and smiled when it flickered against it.

He shifted Zero's legs on his shoulders. "Shut up or I'll tie my tie around your dick…"

The teenagers gave narrowed menacingly. "You wouldn't!" He hissed.

Leaning down, listening to a mixture of sounds that came from Zero has Haruka pushed into him from this new decision, and Zero's own knees reached just above his own shoulders, Haruka whispered, "Try me…" Before pulling back up, and bringing Zero with him, holding the other in his lap and he moved into the boy.

Giving several sharp cries, Zero wrapped his arms around Haruka's neck, burying one hand into his hair, and resting the other on his back.

Sensing what was about to happen, Haruka removed his thumb from the top of Zero's dick. Just as quickly, however, he pumped one last time, bringing his hand up to the top of the shaft, and smirked when he felt something hot burst into his hand as Zero trembled and cried out against him.

The tightening of the others walls was more than enough. Haruka came inside.

Collapsing, Haruka had just finished pulling out of something when he realized… Zero had fallen asleep. Smiling, he stroked the others crisp silver locks, burying his nose in them and smelling the sweet scent of medicine instead, and smoke, and sex, and cinnamon and Zero.

Somehow, Haruka managed to fall asleep too.

* * *

Narrowing his eyes to slits, Haruka dared to glanced upwards to the ceiling, his eyes carefully calculating each streak of sunlight that danced across the bumpy white paint. Tiredness weighed down at his eyes, and Haruka just groaned, sitting up and forcing his duvets to slip over with him as something cracked near his shoulders.

_Why do I hurt so much…?_A voice growled in the back of Haruka's head, though the other just thought it was a headache. Until, of course, Haruka realized something warm was in the bed next to him.

As memories of last night flooded back before his very eyes, and Haruka was stuck in the eye of the storm, he dared to shift his soft brown eyes down to the small and skinny figure that currently was attached to his arm. Watching hesitantly, Haruka sighed when he realized he was safe for Zero was still deep in sleep.

The boy looked so quaint it was almost painful.

Zero's small pink lips was slightly parted, and his eyebrows were pulled forward into a scowl as silver locks fell into his face. For the majority, Zero's body was angled against Haruka's, so much so his shoulder blades stuck up like wings, while both of Zero's arms were locked around one of Haruka's, keeping the other close.

This, for some reason, made Haruka smile, and slowly he brushed back the boys hair and scowl, relaxing the boys face into a small smile instead. This disturbed Zero, and he buried his nose into Haruka's forearm, before his lilac eyes parted open.

Haruka almost choked on his own spit. _Oh shit!_

As soon as Zero realized he was clutching onto Haruka's arm tightly, the other hurriedly sat up in the rays of the early morning sunshine, his elbow jogging the clock behind him which currently read 05:06. The teen watched Haruka with wide eyes, before relaxing.

"Damn…" He muttered, quickly, under his breath, and ran a hand through his hair. "I didn't mean to sleep here all night, I gotta get going!"

Frantically, the other swung his legs over the side of the bed, but Haruka wrapped his arms around the young boy's waist and dragged him back into the warmth of the bed, naked flesh pressing against naked flesh as Haruka pinned the younger boy against him. Sighing, he ran his fingers through Zero's hair.

Burying his mouth against the other for a kiss, he tenderly asked, "What's the rush, you want your money, right?"

"Bastard…" Zero carefully hissed through his teeth as his hand was caught and pulled against the others warm mouth. He couldn't resist a whimper of pleasure as Haruka began to suck on it.

Smirking, Haruka repeated. "What's the rush?"

His hand was scaling the side of his oak cupboard. As his fingers subconsciously compared the glossy finish of it with Zero's flesh, he was managing to pull open the door and those fingers soon focused on rooting around inside instead for access to his wallet, teaming with the money he needed to pay the boy.

Tching, Zero turned his head away from the other and muttered, "I have to get to school…"

Humming against Zero's neck, Haruka let him go. "School huh?" He asked as he turned his attention to counting money in his wallet, licking his fingers and flicking through them carefully. "I'm a teacher at a school. Makes me look bad, doesn't it, fucking a student?"

Smirking, Zero was pulling his clothes on. "Not your fault I'm so damn attractive."

Getting out the money, and a bit more, Haruka glared at him, "Watch it…" He warned, before smiling at the other and handing over the money. Zero stuffed it lazily into his jeans, but Haruka saw the worry cease from the young boys face. "What school do you go to, pet?"

Sighing, Zero murmured, "Don't call me that…"

Holding up his hands, Haruka surrended.

Running his own hands through his slightly sweaty hair, Zero murmured, "CrossAcademy…"

Haruka heard it and registered it and stopped smiling. The ice filled the air so much Zero shivered and pulled his shirt on, electing his goosebumps and hiding them under the clothes as Haruka began staring down at his hands. "Good God…" He announced, suddenly, his voice weak. "I fucked one of my own students…"

Soon, Zero caught on as well. "M-Mr Kuran!"

Zero's eyes resembled that of a frightened dear in headlights as he recognised his headteacher and all instincts stirring deep inside of him were telling him to run. Flee. Get out. Haruka quickly saw this as he began to recognise his student, the last time them meeting being a few years ago, and hissed even louder when he realized he'd shamed Cross-sama's dead soul by fucking his own God-son.

Reaching out he attempted to stop Zero as the other ran. "Wait, Kiryu!"

A door slammed in response. The footsteps dimmed.

Bowing over his head, Haruka buried it into his hands, his empty wallet discarded. Haunting him were the burning ashes of his job and a blond haired face. Biting down on his lower lip, Haruka opened his eyes and stared at his palms as a door opened from across the hall and then his own.

Grinning, Rido glanced at him softly. "You fucker Haruka…" He murmured. "I really didn't think you'd turn out like me…"

Glaring up at him, Haruka covered his naked body, the sweat dripping from him no longer remaining from his sexual night but rather from the dread he had just faced. "I don't need it Rido, I don't…" He repeated, hoping his brother would leave.

Tutting, Rido's grin began to spread even wider, like toxic poison. "Don't you know its not polite to fuck others whores?" His smile dropped, as did his wagging finger. "It's also really not polite to fuck your own students…"

Tortured brown eyes landed on Rido. "You knew?"

"Fix it." Rido just shrugged. "And I guess this means I'll be losing my bitch right?" Chuckling, Rido began to close the door behind him as he made his way downstairs to close the front door Kiryu had left open. "But at least you don't hate me nearly as much, right?" He narrowed his eyes. "Better than Juri, eh?"

Haruka glared at him again. "Get out."

Winking, Rido shut the door. "Fix it…" He whispered.

They both knew it meant a lot more than just their current situation. Both knew it took them way back.

_Zero…_

* * *

"Zero." Not two hours later the man sat at his own desk feeling like a dirty piece of trash that did not have the right to be there. His hair was messy. His suite thrown on and across from him was the boy he was talking to.

Flinching the boy stared at the floor.

Sighing, Haruka began to massage his temple.

This was the boy whose parents had turned down his help when he'd offered it to them. This was the boy Cross had assured him he'd take care off after the fateful accident of learning of Ichiru's condition. This was the boy that, after Cross's death, he had been asked to look after in his will, but still refused.

And this was the boy. "Zero, please look at me." Who had made him get over something he'd thought would suffocate him for the rest of his life.

Glancing up, the boys eyes portrayed nothing, blank, empty violet orbs with no words to be said, shielded further with a glaze and dark eyelashes that gave them a darker feel, almost like the boy was glaring at him. Haruka didn't blame him if he was, he'd grabbed him and brought him here as soon as he'd located what class the other was in. Zero had had no choice but to follow.

Lowering his head, Zero asked, "Am I in trouble?"

"No…" Haruka chuckled, gently. "But I am, Zero. I'll lose my job…"

Snarling, Zero's eyes bubbled with fear this time, and he almost leapt out of his chair, but jolted in it instead. Relaxing, he calmly seethed, "I'll keep your secret…"

Sighing, Haruka whispered, "That's not what I want…"

This time, Zero was betrayed by his body at last and his mouth fell open.

"I knew Kaien Cross well, he was a family friend…" Sighing, he hugged his body, unnoticed to him but very noticed to Zero. "When he died, he asked me to look after you, but I was refused…" Haruka stared at Zero. "I have now learnt you've obviously been selling your body for some time for money and I don't want forgiveness for falling in line either…"

A sceptical look began to scale his body. "No punishment for whoring in your school. No bribe to keep my lips shut. What do you want?"

Smiling, Haruka's clasped hands began to dwindle as he fiddled with his fingers. "I want you to hand over Ichiru's medical rights so I can begin to pay for his treatment and I want us to start over again…"

He could feel the 'why?' coming from Zero.

Swallowing, Haruka stopped staring at his hands and let them rest, his eyes lifting to Zero once more. "Ever since Juri sold her body for her own greed I've been filled with such disgust at it I've been unable to forgive anything and everything I face, even if it does me no wrong, but you…" Sighing, Haruka felt a headache coming on. "You sell yourself like your nothing but your special enough to bring me out of a slump…"

Looking at him, Zero asked, "You want to take care of myself and of Ichiru?"

"Yes." Haruka agreed without hesitation. What hesitation was there when facing a dying child and his lost brother?

Smiling, Zero stood up. "Then starting over isn't an option."

"Wha-?" Haruka barely had time to think before his tie was grabbed and a force, the air, nicked at his face as he was dragged forward, his lips brushing clumsily over Zero's tongue as the other easily managed to crawl over the desk and crumble his hands in the fabric of Haruka's neck. The collar was also grabbed as Zero deepened the bruising kiss, forcing his tongue into his teachers mouth, his hands trying to unzip Haruka's trousers. "Zero!" The other pulled away.

Arching an eyebrow, the teen slipped into Haruka's lap. "If you want me to hand over myself and Ichiru, you take all of me."

"But-"

Zero kissed him again, before whispering in his ear. "You want me this way, right?"

Blushing, Haruka glanced away, and murmured, "Sort of…"

Smirking, Zero began to pull Haruka's jacket off of his shoulders as he sucked on the man's neck. Sex was the only trick of romance Zero knew of. But, if Haruka wanted something that involved it, and the man was offering a roof and offering both of them a second chance, Zero would give him whatever he wanted forever.

He could make it seem like love. Delude Haruka into believing it, even. Even if Zero could never now feel it back, he could try.

Nipping Haruka's ear, he said, "Never had sex in your office before…"

Understanding Zero's deal, Haruka gently rested his hands on the younger's hips.

* * *

Shutting his diary, I felt a smile pull at the corner of my lips, like the puppet strings I thought I'd cut all those years ago were still there after all. Impossible. I ran my hand over his name, carved in. Dipping my finger through the H and then the A, my thumb stroked the K and the A at the end of his name, before moving onto the next K in his name. The read book offered me happiness.

I'd found it only today. Reading over it made me smile. I didn't think he understood my deal, I guess he really must've been close with Juuri after all.

If so, I was easy to read. Damn.

Graduating school, I'd only become his little toy. Nobody knew. Just he and I and then I moved in with him. Ichiru stayed at home on his own, said he liked it there. I left him there happily, of course, he was alive, wasn't he? Plus, I didn't feel like explaining to him all I went through.

Because Haruka insisted on me moving in with him he quit his job and left it to Rido. Worst mistake ever.

Better than social services jumping on his back I suppose.

Graduating school I'd fallen in love with him. Funny, huh?

I don't think I would have fallen for him if I hadn't met her. Juuri I mean. And her two children, Kaname and Yuuki. Kaname was about my age, Yuuki a year younger. Her husband seemed nice too. A doctor or something. I thought it was really nice how he acted like Kaname and Yuuki were his own children. He adopted them. That was sweet. But, if they hadn't of visited I would never have fallen in love.

It wasn't seeing Rido in a flutter that did it. It wasn't Haruka's face or his emotions that did it. Simply it was her, holding hands with her loving husband and gazing down at her two children because they meant the world to her.

And it was her who whispered to me. Her, who begged me to do what she couldn't do and 'take care of him'. If I had not of met her, I would have never of realized that someone really could pick up the pieces and clean the slate of semen that coated their past and put it down on someone else.

Of course, mine was covered again, but with a lot more than just that now.

I loved it when she visited. Simply because Rido didn't and it gave me a reason for Haruka to look at me like I was simply to reason his world spun around again. Whenever she came, Haruka would try to befriend her all over again, and was always do it holding my hand. Slowly, bridges were being built.

It was funny, really, how much he depended on me now that I finished depending on him.

"Zero!" Oops. Quickly, I re-hid the diary, secretly remembering all of the funny little sonnets he'd written about me and all of his adorable, romantic entries. "Where are you, come down here!"

Growling, I opened the door and wandered to the top of the stairs. "What?"

Rolling his eyes, my love walked towards me and tapped his cheek. "Don't I get a kiss?" He asked, and I gazed at his dirty face before slowly descending and smacking him instead.

"No…" I stated, blandly, before wiping the dirt off said cheek. "What did you do anyway, take them to a pig sty?"

Sighing, Haruka pulled me into his arms and sighed. "Yuuki wanted to play horsey…"

Smirking against his soft, brown locks of hair (they smelt like strawberries, this alarmed me) and the skin of his neck (which almost smelt like strawberries, what had happened to my manly knight in shining armour?) I sighed with content and chuckled at the idea of Yuuki 'riding' my lover. "I'm sure she did…" I whispered, contently, wrapping my arms around his waist.

I loved him because Juri had completely changed my perspective. By saying just a couple of odd things centred around one world.

Juuri had wanted a world where she had all the money she needed to avoid anything she dreaded.

I had wanted a world where Ichiru would continue to exist.

But, upon reaching that goal, the two of us had found something else. Something we'd never been searching for. Something amazing and beautiful and living that called us into the world we were so dully reaching for in a new light and a new hope with our old promise right there in front of us, waiting for us, with this bigger, better thing behind it.

Like a two for one offer, I suppose. Bright, shiny, new things behind old, hard-working thing.

And here, in my arms, was the thing that had come out of nowhere and screwed up my whole plan in a good way.

My Wonderland.

* * *

REVIEW! I WILL READ THESE, I HOPE YOU KNOW, AND SO WILL AMARI-CHAN!

TOOK SO LONG TO FINISH AS WELL. YOU BETTER ENJOY IT.

DO NOT REQUEST HERE, OR I KICK YOUR ASS! DoujinGirl OUT!


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